10 Tips to Becoming One of Allah’s Special People....By: Maryam Amirebrahimi

I was not a conscientious Muslim. As I entered my freshman year of high school, I had one very specific goal which I was determined to accomplish: to become popular. “Piety” was not consistent with this goal – at least not in my perspective. It was for this reason that I expressed disdain when my dad announced we would be undertaking the religious journey to Mecca in the summer following my freshman year of high school. I recall telling a friend, “Man, I’m scared. I don’t want to change!” I knew people went to Mecca and then became super religious. I didn’t want that to happen to me. Mecca
As we entered the Grand Mosque, my dad told my mom, my brother, and me to keep our eyes down until we reached the opening of the Masjid, until we were in a space which would allow for our first glimpse of the House of Allah, the Ka’ba, to be in our full view. As we walked through the halls of the Grand Mosque, I heard my mom and dad crying. I knew this was supposed to be a spiritual experience. I could see that they were going through something incredible, but I felt nothing. I felt absolutely nothing. Finally, we approached steps which led to a great opening. At this point, my dad instructed, “Look up.”
ALLAH! In that moment, my vision was suddenly filled with the beloved Ka’ba. As if awakened from the dead, as if beating for the first time, my heart was immediately gripped indescribably. It suddenly filled with this unexplainable, fully tangible presence of the Creator of the Universe. I began to bawl; I was struck with the realization that this feeling, this closeness to God, could only happen because He truly exists. I began to regret all I had done and all the time I had wasted; I began circumambulating the Ka’ba, weeping, begging Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) to forgive me.
When we returned to America, I had difficulty maintaining my spiritual awakening. I decided that I would begin to read the Qur’an. I reasoned that I could watch hours of television a day and so, at the very least, I had an obligation to read at least five pages a day. I hadn’t touched the Qur’an in years. I’m not Arab, I was not raised knowing Arabic; I had just learnt how to read the letters when joined together when I was really young, like many Muslim children. I hadn’t practiced reading Arabic in so many years that I was painfully slow at it; reading five pages easily turned into an hour ordeal, if not longer. I didn’t understand anything I read, but I kept trying.
One day, my mom passed by my room and suggested, “Maryam, why don’t you read it in English? At least then you’ll understand what you’re reading.” To me, this was a lucrative suggestion; I was a really fast reader in English. If I read half the page in English and half of it in Arabic, it’d take much less time to get through five pages a day.
I began and I transformed. Reading the Qur’an in English and being able to come to an understanding of what its message conveyed captivated me. I began to change internally and it slowly took hold of my external being; my thoughts, my intentions, my actions… I slowly began to internalize a conscientiousness that revolutionized my life. I was mesmerized by the Qur’an and it was then that I decided I would undertake memorizing it.
It took me over seven years to memorize the Qur’an. In the time span that I spent memorizing, I had other responsibilities simultaneously. I was either studying or working full time (or a combination of both), I was the president or lead figure of an organization or community work, and I had familial responsibilities. The only time I was able to focus almost completely on the Qur’an was when I moved to Egypt for eleven months, in which I dedicated about two hours a day to memorization while I also studied Arabic and did Arabic homework for about seven hours of the day. However, the majority of the memorization occurred in America, amidst a crazy schedule. I memorized while I had to take care of life responsibilities; you, too, can memorize while taking care of business.
10 Tips for Serious Seekers of the Qur’an

1. Realize the Reason, Know Allah is Your Guide
   • Why memorize the Qur’an? Because it will give you a constant, incredible, and personally special relationship with The Creator, with The Sustainer, with The One Who has power over all things.
     • You want the best of both worlds? It’s through the Qur’an. It’s through memorizing, understanding, loving and most importantly, living it. When one is sincere about memorizing it, one needs to be completely aware of the heavy responsibility and glorified honor of living as Allah’s servant and carrying His words in their hearts. This must translate into their actions. The key: Sincerity.
   • Make the Intention to Invest in Your Akhira (Hereafter)
     • The Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) taught us,  ‘The Qur’aan will meet its companion on the Day of Resurrection when his grave is opened for him, in the form of a pale man. It will say to him, ‘Do you recognize me?’ He will say: ‘I do not recognize you.’ It will say: ‘I am your companion the Qur’aan, who kept you thirsty on hot days and kept you awake at night. Every merchant benefits from his business and today you will benefit from your good deeds.’ He will be given dominion in his right hand and eternity in his left, and there will be placed on his head a crown of dignity, and his parents will be clothed with priceless garments the like of which have never been seen in this world. They will say: ‘Why have we been clothed with this?’ It will be said: ‘Because your son used to recite Qur’aan.’ Then it will be said to him: ‘Recite and ascend in the degrees of Paradise,’ and he will continue to ascend so long as he recites, either at a fast pace or a slow pace.’ [Ahmad, Ibn Majah]
   • Know that Allah is with You
     • Allah Most High says in a Hadith Qudsi (record containing the words of God), “When my servant takes one step towards Me, I take ten steps towards him. When my servant comes walking towards me, I come running towards him.” Recognize that you are not alone; that it is the One Who revealed these words Who will help you learn and retain them. The struggle must begin with the servant, but the Lord is the One Who will continually open the way and aid you through the struggle.
2. When it’s Hard, There is Twice the Reward
   • Wait, what? You don’t understand Arabic? Wait, what? You aren’t Arab? Wait, you’re Arab, but your tajweed (rules of recitation/pronunciation) is really off?
     • For you, the Prophet ﷺ has shared words of encouragement, “Such a person who recites the Qur’an and masters it by heart, will be with the noble righteous scribes (in Heaven). And such a person exerts himself to learn the Qur’an by heart, and recites it with great difficulty, will have a double reward,” (Muslim).
3. Start Correctly and Use Technology
   • Find a Teacher or Qur’an Buddy, Learn tajweedand Work Consistently
     • When I first decided I would commit to memorizing, I found a teacher and told her I was ready. But I had never studied tajweed and my recitation was completely incorrect! She asked me, “Do you want to memorize, or do you want to memorize correctly? There is no point in memorizing it wrong and then having to go back and do it all over again.”
     • The most difficult test I came across with memorizing the Qur’an was not being able to find a consistent teacher. This sometimes led to many months of not memorizing anything and only working on review. When I didn’t find a teacher, I turned to friends who could help me with my tajweed and we became Qur’an buddies. On campus, over the phone, in cars in random parking lots, in-between running from one meeting to another, we would recite to one another and we would keep each other in check until we were able to find teachers. A teacher (or if you can’t find one, a Qur’an buddy) is CRITICAL to progress with the Qur’an.
     • One of the best things that has ever happened to me in my entire life, all praise and thanks be to God, was being blessed with the Qur’an teacher that helped me so immensely through my memorization: Shaykh Moheb. I learned love for the Qur’an, commitment to the Qur’an, a life of gratitude and incredible contentment because of the Qur’an and a balanced perspective through the Qur’an from him. Seeing I was not Arab and was trying to memorize the Qur’an correctly, he took it upon himself to see me through it. May God bless his family in both worlds. I made du`a’ (supplication)(fervently) for a teacher like this for many years and was blessed with more than for what I made du`a’, but it took patience and continual struggle until I was rewarded with a teacher of such caliber. Seek the best teacher you can find and if they are not there, keep making du`a’ for one and work through other avenues.
     • Use technology to assist you; to help practice your tajweed and help you memorize, there are a number of resources dedicated to those who want to memorize the Qur’an. If you have ever used one, please feel free to share what has worked for you!
4. Date the Qu’ran
   • When I was MSA President in college, I had many responsibilities added to my academic, work, volunteer, knowledge, and familial obligations. However, everyday, I made a special date with the Qur’an that no one could touch. My phone was away, my email was gone – I was booked for that time period and it didn’t matter how huge of an event I needed to prepare for the next day. Just as we make time for people, work and classes, we need to schedule in time to meet up with the Qur’an and strive to show it that we’re sincere and serious about a long-term relationship.
5. The Qur’an is Where the Party’s At
   • Sometimes, memorizing the Qur’an means denying invitations to social gatherings. Don’t get me wrong; it is ESSENTIAL for one’s spiritual and emotional well-being to be balanced and have social connections and relationships regularly. However, there will be times when the portion that must be memorized is going to take more time and that means leaving early from or not being able to make it to the party. These are sacrifices we make for Allah (swt) and the Qur’an and He replaces them with better if we pay attention.
6. Make Du`a’Constantly
   • In every prayer, in every moment of prostration, between every athan (call to prayer) and iqama (call to begin prayer), ask God to make us of the Ahlul Qur’an (the people of the Qur’an), those whom the Prophet ﷺ taught, “The people of the Qur’an are the people of Allah and His special servants,” (An-Nisa’i). Realize you are not alone. There are some du`a’ I began making seven years ago and they only have started to manifest six or seven years after I started making them rigorously. There will be times one might want to give up, one might feel like there’s no progress, one might feel like everyone else is finishing so quickly, so easily, and that nothing is clicking. Wait. Be patient. Keep working and keep making du`a’. Soon, everything will open because of your sincerity , work and du`a’ and when it does, every second of the struggle is so much sweeter and so much more worth it.
7. Trade a Mushaf (Qur’an) with Someone and Understand What You’re Memorizing
   • When starting, find someone else who wants to begin and give them a mushaf (written Qur’an) and ask them to give you one as well. This way, every time they or you work on memorizing, you’re both receiving incredible rewardsfrom each other’s memorization.
   • It can be more difficult to memorize if one has no clue what the meaning of the verses are. If one does not understand the language of the Qur’an, make sure to also keep a translation close by to read from it to contextualize the verses and pick up on the meaning.
8. Do Good Deeds “For the Sake of the Qur’an”
   • When one experiences extra difficulty in memorizing or has just finished a great portion, give some small financial or action-based charity and ask Allah (swt) to accept it for the Qur’an; ask Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala fervently for tawfiq (success), for sincerity, and for a love life with His Words.
   • The Qur’an is special and it does not “need” us. We need the Qur’an to guide us and to enrich our lives. The Qur`an isn’t going to just come to anyone who attempts to memorize it, then leaves it, then attempts it, then leaves it. It also doesn’t just easily lend itself to individuals who knowingly commit sins and persist in those sins without regret and without seeking to change. As one Shaykh taught, “The Qur’an is Aziz (dear, noble, venerated). If you don’t want to be with it or memorize it, then it’s not going to ‘wait around’ for you.” You want to be special to the Qur’an? Work for it through your righteous actions when you’re not working with it directly.
9. Honor One’s Parents
   • As I learned from an anecdote shared by Imam Suhaib Webb, the pleasure of one’s parents incredibly aids in easing the memorization of the Qur`an. The more one wants to memorize, the more one should increase in treating their parents with dignity, respect and appreciation through words, through actions and through merciful companionship. (Thank you Mom and Dad!!)
10. The Qur’an Should Spark an Internal Revolution
    • Even more important than memorizing the Qur’an is allowing it catalyze one’s transformation. If one’s character is not reforming and improving, there’s a serious problem. Check your heart from the start and keep checking it; one’s actions should become more balanced and stronger in quality when interacting with the Qur’an.

Many people feel facing the challenge of memorizing the Qur`an is too difficult of a task. They may have tried it and given up, dabbled in it and lost focus or drive or simply refused to consider the idea because they feel it insurmountable. Think of memorizing the Qur`an like lifting weights. For a person who has never worked out and who desires the health benefits of increasing their strength, they may begin with just a few pounds. As they continue, the amounts they began with will feel insignificant in comparison to the heavy amounts they are now able to lift.
Similarly, beginning the memorization of the Qur’an seems difficult. One verse, two verses, may take a long time to memorize correctly; getting the pronunciation down perfectly may take years, remembering the order of the words may be a frustrating task. However, when one commits to it and makes it a part of their daily responsibilities, it becomes easier and easier. The two verses that took an hour to memorize will turn into the memorization of one entire page in fifteen minutes.
The Qur’an is easy and The One Who revealed the Qur`an tells us, “And We have certainly made the Qur’an easy for remembrance, so is there any who will remember?” (Qur`an, 54:17). It just takes dedication, commitment and time. Even if it takes you, as it took me, seven years, ten years, fifteen years, imagine being able to say, “I had a seven-year memorization relationship with the Qur’an and the quality of my life improved in every second. Now that I’m finished, an incredibly exciting chapter of our long-term, eternal relationship is about to begin!”
We all seek for our hearts to be in a state of contentment, tranquility and ease. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala tells us, “Those who believe, and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allah, verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest,” (Qur‘an, 13: 28).
The best form of remembrance is that of the Qur`an. Will you allow your heart to find rest through it?

Staying Focused by PRAYing...By Marwa Abdalla

I remember the last time it happened to me. I was driving my daughter to preschool, something I do several times a week. Traffic was heavy and I was preoccupied. Deep in thought, I drove amidst the hundreds of cars on the highway and suddenly, or maybe it was after several minutes, I realized that the exit I was supposed to have taken was miles behind me and I was merging onto another freeway altogether. Panic struck me for a moment as I took the next exit, unfamiliar road signs all around. How had I missed the exit that I was so used to taking? What had distracted me for so long? And now, how long was it going to take me to reroute and ultimately reach my destination?
Distractions on Our Journey
In life, we are all on a journey. We know the ultimate destination we are trying to reach is jannah (Paradise) and Allah subhanahu wa ta`la (exalted is He) has clearly laid out the route we are supposed to take. However, dunya (the worldly life) is distracting. Like me on the road that day, we sometimes miss an important exit or forget to make a crucial turn and get thrown off our spiritual route. In my own life and in working with others, I’ve found that we can usually tell when we’re in unfamiliar territory. But even though we know that Allah (swt) has laid out the guidance in the Qur’an and Sunnah (tradition of the Prophet ﷺ, peace be upon him), we sometimes simply don’t know where to begin. This article lays out an easy to remember acronym, P.R.A.Y., that serves like a series of road signs to not only help us in our day to day journey to Allah, but also get us back on track when we feel the need to re-route ourselves spiritually. I hope it is beneficial insha’Allah (God willing).
P is for Prayer
The P in the acronym PRAY stands, creatively enough, for prayer. The first thing we should check when we feel that our spirituality is not on track (after our belief in the Oneness of God) is our prayer. I ask myself the following questions: How is my prayer? Am I praying on time? How is my focus and concentration (khushu) when I pray? What can I do to improve my concentration? Am I praying the sunnah prayers and other nawafil (extra prayers) like the duha and witr prayers? I try to see where the gaps are and begin filling them one by one. I also try to rekindle the feeling inside of me that in each rakah (unit of prayer), I am connecting with Allah (swt). I realize my shortcomings and ask for help getting back on His path.
R is for Read
The R in the acronym PRAY stands for read. I am a native English speaker. I read almost anything in English and understand it alhamdulilLah (praise be to God). Now even though I’m familiar with all the alphabetical characters that make up the French language, I would likely never pick up a book in French and read it just phonetically in hopes of understanding anything. However, for a long time, I did just that with the Qur’an. I come from an Arabic-speaking family and have studied tajweed and so I always have read the Qur’an in Arabic simply because I could and because I thought this was somehow better. Even though I understood only fragments of what I read, I persisted, looking only to translation if I absolutely had no idea what an ayah (verse) was saying. Recently, however, I read an article called “Ten Tips on Becoming One of Allah’s Special People” on how to better connect with the Qur’an and realized I had to change.  I began reading the Qur’an in English. Not one verse in Arabic and then one in English. I read entire parts (ajza’) in English.  This was such a huge breakthrough for me; I understood so much more without interruption. Lest I be misunderstood, studying Arabic and reading the Qur’an in Arabic is of great importance. However, the Qur’an is meant to be our source of guidance. So in addition to the Arabic, we must also regularly read it in a language that helps us understand that guidance.
A is for Ask Allah first
The A in the acronym PRAY stands for Ask Allah (swt) first. We live in a society that praises the independent individual, the “do-it-yourself-and-pick-yourself-up-from-your-bootstraps-if-you-fall” type who relies on him or herself only. Too often, we as Muslims fall prey to this mentality. We try to do everything on our own, initially relying solely on ourselves and only when in dire need do we ask for the help of other people to help us through any given problem.
But we must examine: how often do we ask Allah (swt) and rely on Him first? All success and provision are from Allah yet many of us only turn to Him (swt) and make du`a’ (supplication) about something after we feel we have exhausted all other resources. This is especially true in times when we are distracted by the dunya and feel disconnected from Allah. How different would our lives be if, like the Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him), we began by asking Allah (swt) first before relying on ourselves and others? If before trying to do the job myself, I make du`a’, pray two rak`ahs and really put all my trust and tawwakul (reliance) in Allah (swt) to help me in my endeavor, how much calmer I am! How much easier does the task at hand become! The emphasis is really not just on asking Allah (swt), but beginning with Him, making du`a’, praying, and remembering Him first, before we ask others and before we depend on ourselves.
Y is for Yourself (and your Self)
The Y in the acronym PRAY stands for Yourself. This road sign is to remind us that we must take time by ourselves to reflect on our actions, purify our intentions, and repent for those things that we may have done incorrectly. This isolation is a very useful practice because it allows us to shut out the noise of the dunya and assess our actions and intentions. This road sign can also be read “your Self,” reminding us to engage in a process of disciplining and purifying our nafs (inner self), the source in us of base desires and whims that can often get in the way of our knowledge and correct worship of Allah (swt).
Each of these headings could be expanded at length and we should do all we can to learn more about these areas. However, I hope that in the midst of the busy pace of dunya we can use this relatively simple acronym as a starting place and insha’Allah stay better focused on our real journey to the best of all destinations, jannah.

Atrial Flutter with 3:1 block

• Regular rhythm in presence of fixed AV block.
• Ventricular rate ~150 bpm in presence of 2:1 AV block.
• Flutter waves / ‘saw-tooth pattern’ best seen in leads II, III, aVF and V_1.
• Flutter wave morphology depending on type of atrial flutter (see above).
• QRS complexes usually  < 120 ms unless pre-existing bundle branch block, accessory pathway, or rate related aberrant conduction.
• Variable AV block will result in an irregular rhythm.
• Absence of an isoelectric baseline.

Atrial flutter with a 3:1 block

ECG: dominant R wave in V1

WORD

W PW
O ld MI
R BBB
D extrocardia

ECG: T wave inversion causes INVERT

Ischemia
Normality [esp. young, black]
Ventricular hypertrophy
Ectopic foci [eg calcified plaques]
RBBB, LBBB
Treatments [digoxin]

Depressed ST-segment: causes DEPRESSED ST

Drooping valve (MVP)
Enlargement of LV with strain
Potassium loss (hypokalemia)
Reciprocal ST- depression (in I/W AMI)
Embolism in lungs (pulmonary embolism)
Subendocardial ischemia
Subendocardial infarct
Encephalon haemorrhage (intracranial haemorrhage)
Dilated cardiomyopathy
Shock
Toxicity of digitalis, quinidine

ST elevation causes in ECG, ELEVATION

Electrolytes
LBBB
Early repolarization
Ventricular hypertrophy
Aneurysm
Treatment (eg pericardiocentesis)
Injury (AMI, contusion)
Osborne waves (hypothermia)
Non-occlusive vasospasm

LBBB Vs RBBB

WiLLiaM MaRRoW

A mnemonic to remember the ECG changes is WiLLiaM MaRRoW, i.e. with Left bundle branch block there is a W in V1 and a M in V6 and with a RBBB there is a M in lead V1 and a W in lead V6

Rate pressure product

Rate pressure product, also known as Cardiovascular Product or Double Product, is used in cardiology and exercise physiology to determine the cardiovascular risk of subjects.
Rate Pressure Product (RPP) = Heart Rate (HR) * Systolic Blood Pressure (SBP)
HR (beats per minute)
SBP (mmHg)
RPP (bpm*mmHg)
Rate pressure product is a measure of the stress put on the cardiac muscle based on the number of times it needs to beat per minute (HR) and the arterial blood pressure that it is pumping against (SBP). It will be a direct indication of the energy demand of the heart and thus a good measure of the energy consumption of the heart.
Rate pressure product allows you to calculate the internal workload or hemodynamic response.

Hemodynamic Response	RPP
High	more than 30000
High Intermediate	25000 - 29999
Intermediate	20000 - 24999
Low Intermediate	15000 - 19999
Low	10000 - 14999

"Put Your Best Face Forward"... By: Lobna Mulla

Think back to the last time you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror when you were stressed.  Did you look approachable?  What message did you send to others around you with your distressed facial expressions?  What type of reaction did your family or co-workers have when they engaged with you while you were in such a state?  Ever ponder the misunderstandings that may have arisen because your friend or spouse interpreted your frustration as directed towards them?  Let us reflect on the power of the smile not only in the face of adversity, but also during prosperity.

The concept of spreading good cheer in Islam is, at times, neglected and/or forgotten.  Abu Dhar, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that Prophet Muhammad ﷺ  (peace be upon him) said, “Don’t underestimate any good deed, even meeting your brother with a cheerful face.” (Muslim).  Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also said, as narrated by Abu Dhar, may Allah be pleased with him, “Smiling in the face of your brother is charity.” (Tirmidhi).  So if smiling is charity, why are some of us so miserly?  Why don’t we see more people meeting others with a welcoming face?  This question has puzzled me for a long time.  I once asked a person who is “smile-challenged” about this phenomenon, and he simply shrugged.  After much contemplation and observation, I may have come to an understanding.
Once, a family member and I went to a restaurant.  After sitting at the table for some time, I was enjoying the simple experience and smiling while my dining partner was just straight-faced.  I asked what he was thinking, and he said he was analyzing how the waiter interacted differently with the people sitting at the next table than how he interacted with my dining partner.  I suggested that perhaps his own reserved facial expression prevented the waiter from engaging in a more amiable manner.  He couldn’t help but agree.  Two important points regarding smiling should be considered:

1. You reap what you sow.  The level of positive energy you exude through your facial expressions (not to mention your overall body language, tone of voice, etc.) often dictates the level of positive interaction you receive in return.  Anticipating positive interactions with others before they actually happen also helps to breed friendly experiences.
2. Your facial expressions reflect your inner feelings.  If you catch yourself spending your day with a frown, reflect on your thoughts.   What negative feelings are you harboring?  Consider reflecting on the positive side of each situation you encounter.  Once you modify your way of thinking, you will see a change in your facial expressions and may even find yourself smiling.

To put it quite simply, smiling creates a positive cycle of good feelings.  The act of exercising your facial muscles to smile helps to lighten your own mood, which reflects happiness on your face, which brings about a more positive response from others, which creates a deeper positive experience.  So, what if you are not inclined to smile?  Here are some tips:

1. Be conscious of the fact that you have a tendency to withhold your smiles and check yourself.
2. This may sound vain, but make a few mirror checks when you catch yourself frowning, or straight-faced.  Reflect upon the negative message you are sending.
3. Put on a smile, even if you are not in the greatest mood (especially when you are around your loved ones).
4. Make a conscious effort to watch others’ expressions and reactions when they see you with this lightened expression on your face.
5. Don’t think about the possibility of someone not returning a smile.  Someone else may be having a bad day, and may be completely oblivious to his surroundings.  The positive effect you have on one person can never be overestimated.
6. Reflect upon the fact that smiling is charity.  You are actually donating happiness to others when you flash your pearly whites.  And as is with all business in which we engage with Allah; when we give charity, we actually receive much more in return.  Aside from Allah’s reward, the reward of smiling is often returned with another smile, creating good cheer in a matter of seconds.

Making a conscious effort to smile at others is not only pleasing to Allah, but it helps to create a friendly atmosphere.  When you smile at your family and friends, you are letting them know you are happy with them and you love them.  And when you smile at someone you don’t know, you are offering a piece of happiness.  Spread good cheer, a little bit of effort goes a long way.

Causes of Papilary Necrosis

The Never-Ending Story ... By Abid Mohammed

A man once complained to the Prophet ﷺ (peace and blessings be upon him) that he had a hard heart. The Prophet ﷺ  replied, “If you want your heart to soften, (affectionately) rub the orphan’s head (with your hand) and feed the needy.” [narrated by Ibn Abi Dunya] For the entire week, you were waiting for the weekend. You desperately needed to sort your life out.  I mean things were getting ridiculous. Not only were you really far behind on your lectures and assignments but you still hadn’t cleaned your room and that book you needed to buy? Well that’s going to have to wait. Oh and let’s not forget that you still needed to renew your Oyster Card, pay your tuition fees, pay back the money you owe your friend, sort out plans for going out this Wednesday, clean your car, memorize a page of the Qur’an, organize a dinner for this Friday, go shopping for some new clothes and erm…*scratches head*…did I mention that you desperately needed to sort your life out?
You tried to reassure yourself by saying that this weekend would make all your worries disappear, but you and I both know that’s not going to happen. In fact, we are now on the last day of “this weekend” and I am willing to bet my £5000 overdraft on the fact that nothing has changed. Actually, scrap that. Things are probably worse, aren’t they? Because not only did you manage to achieve absolutely NOTHING this weekend, but a whole new list of tasks have reared their ugly heads, screaming for your attention and begging to be dealt with.
So what should you do? Well, let’s take your room. Ideally it should be completely clean, but that objective hasn’t got you anywhere – so how about just focusing on getting cleaner, like picking up your clothes off the floor? Or your lectures – Going over two weeks worth of lectures is nigh on impossible at the moment, but flicking through just one lecture shouldn’t take long at all! What about memorizing the Qur’an? A page a day is a bit much, so how about just three verses a day?
The point with each of these examples is that you are focusing on getting better, not necessarily on achieving the best – and as long as you do that, you are more likely to achieve what you want then if you had tried to do everything in one go. In fact, the only time I’ve ever seen the latter work is in movies. Real life teaches us to take small steps if we want to go anywhere. That’s why we learn to turn over before we can learn to crawl and why we learn to crawl before we can learn to walk (I think some of us have yet to master this last step). Trying to jump from A to Z in one step is impossible and you know that, which is why your room is still unclean, your lectures remain untouched and your Qur’an is nowhere to be seen.
This is exactly what the Prophet ﷺ highlighted in the hadith (report of the words of the Prophet ﷺ) above. It would have been all too easy to tell someone, eager to become a better person, to do a million things in order to achieve that noble goal. But that would have only caused them to sit on their hands, daunted by the number of obstacles that they must now overcome. Instead he ﷺ gave the man just two tasks to do, tasks that were both simple and that could be done straight away. That doesn’t mean that by doing those two things, the man would have a soft heart, but it would “soften” and as long as he continued to take small steps in the right direction, not only will he be motivated to continue his journey but he’ll be well on his way to actually reaching his desired destination. As someone once said: A journey of a thousand miles really does begin with one step.

It’s Never too Late...By: Maryam Amirebrahimi

I finally reached the elevator of my apartment building. It was my first week studying abroad in Cairo. After a long walk from the Arabic center in the hot sun, I was thirsty. I hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and after five hours of Arabic class my head was spinning. I just wanted to get home. The elevator came. I entered. Elevators in Egyptian apartment buildings often look makeshift; the small window in the elevator door gave me a fleeting glimpse of each floor, with concrete walls in between. It finally arrived – almost. The elevator was stuck midway between concrete wall and the actual floor. No problem, I thought, I’ll just push the door open, take a big step and I’ll make it insha’Allah (God willing).
But the door did not budge open. And no matter how much I yanked it, it would not open. It was completely shut. I pushed, jerked and rattled the door until I was faced with the horrifying realization that I was stuck. I began to panic; I was trapped in a dilapidated elevator in a building with absolutely no type of fire code and no type of emergency plan, in a country that does not have 911. I started pounding on the elevator door.
Making du`a’, I called my roommate. She ran out and tried to pull the door open. Stuck. Suddenly the same air I was breathing moments ago began to fade, and I felt complete terror. My roommate told me to press the button to another floor.
Allahu Musta`an (Allah is the Helper), how could I press the button to another floor? With a malfunctioning elevator, I could easily end up facing a concrete wall and find myself completely cut off from human help! I cannot explain how terrified I was. Perhaps somewhere deep down I felt insha’Allah everything would be okay, and looking back, this incident wasn’t really a big deal (with time, it became normal to get stuck, facing concrete, in the dark, just waiting for the elevator to work again).
But the reality of being in a foreign country, in an elevator where the emergency phone had no dial tone and the emergency button did not light up, despite desperately pounding it, sunk in fast. I could barely hear my roommate as she called out for me not to worry, and I realized how close I really was to death.
It’s as if you’re in the grave. You can see everything; you can feel everything; you can’t do anything to help yourself physically. No matter how hard you bang, you can’t get out; no matter how much you scream, no one else can help you. You’re just stuck, faced with the shock of your nearing end. A square that’s big enough to fit your body, caving in on you as you realize you have not done enough good, you did not repent enough, you were distracted in the last salah of your life, you have a mountain of sins to quit committing, self-reform to work on, and a world full of people you have not yet told you appreciate and need to ask for forgiveness from.
Pure terror is the best description I can think of for the reality of pounding on the only way to exit. You realize that no matter how much you try to escape, and how much others try to help, in the end it’s just you, your belief and actions, (or lack thereof) and Al Haaqqah (the Reality).
My sisters and brothers, I can’t imagine what it’s like when the time for salah is in but you put it off or miss it altogether, or when you scream at your mom who gave her life for you. Or despairing in Allah when deep down you know He is Ar Rahman (the Beneficient)…
In that moment when death hits, you don’t have time to repent. Your soul is taken and you experience deep, painful, immeasurable regret that missing salah wasn’t a one-time slip up, but a lifestyle that only one individual was responsible for, and then facing the reality that that one individual was you. But it’s too late, you’re stuck, you scream and all but the people and jinn hear you, and the Rabb al-`Alameen (the Lord of all the worlds), the Rahman ar-Raheem (the Beneficient, the Merciful), Al ‘Afu (the Eraser of sins), Al Ghaffar (the Forgiver) and Al Ghafoor (the All Forgiving), Al Haleem (the Clement), gave you ten, twenty, thirty-five, fifty, seventy, one hundred years to just turn to Him and sincerely say, “Oh my Lord, I believe in you, forgive me, forgive me.” But you didn’t.
Not all of us go through life-changing spiritual experiences. Not all of us fall into our graves while still alive to “die, before we die.” Even if we did, not all of us can make an immediate and steadfast turn towards Allah. But all of us can turn a little bit more to Allah and keep turning insha’Allah until we’re actively living a God-conscious life. Allah has made it so easy for us! He tells us in a hadith qudsi:

“Dear child of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind.
Dear child of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. Dear child of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great at it.” (Ahmad)

And once we take that step and repent, let’s try a few extra small good deeds to make our hearts stronger! Sometimes we think that sinning comes so easily and too many obstacles prevent good in our actions. But do you know how easy Allah has made it for us to obliterate our sins and stack up the good deeds?
The Prophet ﷺ asked his companions (may Allah be pleased with them),

“Is anyone of you unable to earn a thousand good deeds?” One of those present asked: “How can one earn thousand good deeds in a day?” He ﷺ replied, “By saying: Subhan’Allah (glorified is Allah and free from imperfection) a hundred times, then one thousand good deeds will be recorded for him or one thousand sins will be blotted out from his record.” (Muslim)

I just timed it and it literally took me less than one minute to say Subhan’Allah one hundred times and insha’Allah get all those brownie points! Why don’t you say it and rake up all that reward now, before you even read the next line?!
Let us keep our tongues wet in the remembrance (dhikr) of Allah in our limited days, where good deeds are to our akhirah as water is to our bodies, and make the intention to make dhikr with every step we take. Let us remember how easy repentance really is, how much Allah (swt) LOVES for His slave – for me and you – to return to Him (swt) and how He keeps giving us extra time to spend the upcoming second to cry, “My Lord, forgive me!” We’re still alive, so let’s start living life with love, hope, mercy, fear and consciousness of Allah.

5 Ways to Stop Being Judgmental.... By: Maryam Amirebrahimi

If that feeling of, “I’m better than thou,” creeps up on you while comparing yourself to someone else, consider the following:

1. Consider the saying, “Some saints have a past and many sinners have a future.” 
Being a ‘saint’ isn’t guaranteed for any one person for a lifetime. But the path to God’s forgiveness is always open and especially tailored just for the one who makes a mistake and regrets it and seeks to change, even if it’s over and over and over.
2. Think about our sins and shortcomings.
Oh, wait, can’t think of any? If we can’t, we’ve been deceived by Satan and are in an even worse state than any of those whose blatant sins we perceive.
3. Remember the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: “No one with the slightest particle of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise.” (Bukhari)
Sometimes the actions we see others engaged in may be sins, but may not be as serious as the problem of arrogance. In wanting others to act like they’re people of Paradise, let’s be careful not to make ourselves candidates to be barred from it. God protect us.
4. Ask ourselves: Is that person a parent?
If they are and we aren’t, they’re already light-years ahead of our game. If she’s a mom, Paradise is potentially below her feet. If they are a mom or dad, any good they taught their kid and their kid acts upon are rewards going straight back to them. How are we going to compare ourselves to that? If they are and we are, consider: what great work might their progeny do that may be because of one lesson that person taught them?
5. Remind ourselves: We have no idea what another person has gone through or where they’re really coming from.
How many people were physically beaten in order to make them pray, pressured into wearing hijab, or sexually abused by a “religious” individual? Our minute interactions with individuals are not a gateway to their backgrounds and past struggles. We don’t know the pain they’re working through. And sometimes, due to those very painful experiences, people leave the practice of Islam or leave Islam completely. But then they sometimes choose to come back. And when they do, it will take time. They have to work through their emotions, the toxic relationships which originally caused the schism they experienced with Islam and the difficulty in finding a niche in a community after leaving it for some time. And all of that is jihad. Everyday they are waging internal battles.
What they go through cannot quite be compared with the young man or woman who was raised in a supportively religious household, who was a part of a nurturing mosque community, who was put in Islamic school since kindergarten and taken to Qur’an classes everyday. A twenty-year-old hafith (one who has memorized the entire Qur’an by heart) might be impressive and may God bless them and He has raised their status in a special way. But they may not necessarily be closer to God or earning more rewards from God than the struggling servant who has dealt with incredible hardship and is struggling to come back.
So, what can we do when that ‘holier than thou’ feeling creeps in?
Think: Omar, may God be pleased with him, used to be a hostile Islamophobe who would beat his servant for her belief in God. Now, he is known to us as one of those promised Paradise by the Prophet ﷺ himself. Would he have been our role model if we knew him before Islam? Maybe not. But look who he became. You know why? Because, by God’s guidance and mercy, he had a teacher and a community who helped him reach his full potential.
That’s what we need to be for others and allow others to be for us. Be a loving mentor. Be a supportive friend. Be an encouraging counselor. Be a shoulder to cry and lean on. Your awesome love for Islam and “Muslimness” will be communicated simply through your actions of being there for others in an uplifting, genuine way. If applicable, when someone is ready, that person will ask you about Islam and seek your help in becoming the best Muslim they can be, God willing. Or perhaps they’ll be more open to listening to your sincere, gentle advice on something you’re truly concerned about because of your love for them. This perspective does not mean we do not advise others when we’re concerned for them, it simply means we do so while withholding judgment and in a methodically wise way.
Be like the Prophet ﷺ. Engulf your heart so deeply in caring for people’s happiness in both worlds that it simply does not have space for judgment or arrogance. And perhaps, because of your sincere acceptance of another, you’ll soon find that very person being a means of guidance for your own self.

The Goodbye Hug... By: Maryam Amirebrahimi

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Many of us only hear destructive marriage stories within the Muslim community. The constant flow of negative narratives can cause many to cringe and fear marriage. However, the reality is that there are so many incredible, beautiful, passionate, fulfilling and compassionate love stories in the Muslim community. In this mini-series, we hope to shed light on the beauty that exists in many Muslim marriages.
Here is just one glimpse of a Muslim couple who truly appreciate the small gestures of love between them. I’ll let the wife tell her story:

“Every morning, my husband gets up, goes and prays fajr (morning prayer) in the masjid, comes home, gets ready for work, and then we have a special goodbye hug before he leaves for the day. That hug energizes both of us for the day and we know it is a very special moment.

This morning, I had not realized that the time for fajr at the masjid changed and it was later than usual. So while I was praying fajr and my husband was getting ready to leave, it didn’t occur to me that he would not be coming home after the masjid because he would already be prepared to go to work. He left while I was still praying fajr and when I finished my prayer and my supplication, I realized he had already taken his lunch. That meant he was not coming back this morning, which meant we would not have our special goodbye hug. I wallowed in sadness and missing him. We’ve been married for many years, but I still miss him when we are apart for just an hour… You can imagine how hard it is when we’re apart the entire workday! And no, I don’t sit around all day just waiting for him to return. I have a very busy work schedule. But that doesn’t mean I’m not counting down hours until we’re together again at the end of the day.

As I sat reminding myself to be grateful that my husband is alive and healthy and well, scolding myself for being such a spoiled brat that I would wallow in self-pity simply for missing a hug while so many lose their loved ones and never have the opportunity to see them again in this life, I got a call from my husband. I realized he must have finished praying fajr at the masjid and I was ecstatically ready to hear his voice.

After sharing our sorrow for missing our hug, he told me, ‘Well, guess what? I have to come home because I forgot something!’

I was elated! God had caused him to forget something! That meant we would have another chance to share our special morning moment!

When he came in, we gave each other the biggest goodbye hug ever. I teasingly asked, ‘Was what you forgot here our goodbye hug?’ He laughed and replied, ‘Yup!’

And then I stopped and stared into his face, shocked. ‘That’s what you forgot here? That’s really what you forgot? That’s the reason you came back instead of going straight to work?!’

He wrapped his arms around me and replied, ‘I forgot our hug! I couldn’t start the morning without it!’”

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If a hug is worth grieving over when missed, then think about how much greater every other aspect of the relationship must be when both spouses work to make every encounter one filled with love and compassion.
True love exists. It does exist in Muslim families. It might even be your story now or in the future. Your relationship may be difficult, it may now be over, or it may not yet have begun. When that relationship exists, you may not be able to drive back home for a hug, there may be many barriers to you spending time together or seeing each other or working on increasing your love for one another. But it may be possible for you to find a common, small gesture of love which you can incorporate in your lives, which inculcates the way you want to feel for one another, and through it, God willing, your motivation of working for the zest in your relationship may flourish.

One day everything will make perfect sense

Never regret anything...

I am a free spirit...Either admire me from the ground. Or fly with me...But don't ever try to cage me.

The Pursuit of Happiness..By Jinan Bastaki

I was recently asked to give a talk entitled, “The Pursuit of Happiness.” I had a lot to say about the topic, and unfortunately was not able to deliver all of it. This topic is really important in general, but especially in this day and age where we find many people suffering from depression/melancholy at some point in their life. What is Happiness?
Most Americans are familiar with the phrase “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”—rights enshrined in the U.S. Declaration of Independence. But in order to talk about the pursuit of happiness, we need to know what happiness is.
It turns out that happiness is a little hard to define. We all know what it is, and we know when we are happy, but it is difficult to put into words because it is so experiential. It is one of these things that is an end in and of itself; people want things in order to be happy, whether it is wealth, health, or a dream we want to achieve. Wikipedia’s definition states that “Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.” Psychologist Ed Diener, author of Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth, describes it as a combination of life satisfaction and having more positive emotions than negative emotions.
Most of us would think that we would be “happy” if we were able to obtain some life achievement, or that our happiness would disappear if we lost our home in a fire (God forbid). But psychologists have found that after some period of adjustment, we actually go back to our previous level of happiness, no matter what happens to us. So happiness is a state that we can cultivate that does not have to be permanently affected by the things that happen to us externally. The more we work on our happiness, the easier it is to come back to it after times of hardship.
We all know people with very little wealth who appear to be happy, and others who are very wealthy but are very unhappy. While some of it can be genetic, tweaking these external variables does not necessarily permanently change the level of happiness. Therefore, there must be something else.
In an article by the Mayo Clinic, they stated that “only 10 percent or so of the variation in people’s reports of happiness can be explained by differences in their circumstances. It appears that the bulk of what determines happiness is due to personality and — more importantly — thoughts and behaviors that can be changed.”
So we all know that happiness is not simply a giddy feeling that we get now and then. It is something more. Happiness can be described as a general state of contentment, or redha.
Sa’ad bin Abi Waqqas, radi Allahu `anhu  (may God be pleased with him), who is one of the ten Companions promised paradise, said to his son: “If you ask for wealth, then ask for contentment to accompany it. If contentment does not accompany it, then no money will satisfy you.”
The Pursuit of Happiness
There are two types “happinesses”: in Jannah (Paradise) and in this world. Jannah is a happiness that we pursue, it is the permanent happiness, where there is no fear or grief. And insha’Allah (God willing), everything that we do should be geared for that: the pleasure of God and Jannah.
But in this world, I do not believe in the pursuit of happiness. That is not because I do not believe in happiness in this world. It is quite the opposite. I just do not believe in pursuing it, because when we say we are pursuing happiness, we are implying that happiness is something that is outside of us and that it is out of reach, which is why we have to pursue it.
Yet Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala (exalted is He), has made happiness in this world easy. He made it something inside of us that is not necessarily dependent on the external. So we can pursue Jannah while being happy in this world, or we can pursue it while being depressed—which one would you rather have? Which one will enable you to be more productive?
Question:
Do you think Allah (swt) wants you to be happy in this world?
The answer to this question matters greatly. If you think that you are meant to suffer, then that will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Every bad thing that happens becomes a moment of “Of course I knew this would happen, I have such terrible luck,” as opposed to something we learn from and grow as a result of. If we think Allah (swt) wants us to suffer, then we will only find closeness to Him in pain. This does not mean that we cannot find Allah (swt) in moments of pain, but we should be able to go to Allah both in times of ease and in hardship. So does He want us to be happy in this world?
Happiness in the Life of a Believer
My argument is that Allah (swt) wants us to be happy in this world—especially when happiness is defined as a general state of contentment. Why do I say this? Our example, the Prophet ﷺ, was a balanced man. His general state was one of contentment. He was described as daa’im al-bushra, meaning he was always optimistic and happy. He was serious when times called for it, and that was to encourage reflection and accountability, and prevent frivolity.
Moreover, we are taught that the best thing to do is make others happy. The Prophet ﷺ said that the most beloved deed to Allah (swt) after the obligatory acts of worship is to bring joy to a fellow Muslim. He also said that what necessitates forgiveness from Allah (swt) is bringing joy to your brother (Tabarani). Finally he taught us that the only reward for bringing joy to an entire household is Paradise (Tabarani). When the Prophet ﷺ found out that a child’s pet bird had died, he went to play with him to make him forgot about his sorrow. If we are all busy making others happy, who is left to be sad?
When people accepted Islam, they would be overjoyed because they felt that Allah (swt) chose them. There is a closeness that comes with that. When we study Allah’s Names, we find that many of them are geared towards giving us some sort of comfort, such as as-Salaam (the Source of Peace), al-Jabbar (He who mends what is broken), al-Lateef (the Subtle and Kind), al-Fattah (the Opener) and others. Allah (swt) comforts the Prophet ﷺ when he was under distress. We are told we will find rest in the remembrance of Allah (swt). The Qur’an is filled with words of hope, which I will expand upon later. The Prophet ﷺ taught us that the affair of the believer is amazing because everything is good for him—when he sees good, he thanks God, and when he faces hardship, he is patient. If life was meant to be depressing, why would Allah (swt) give us the antidotes to sadness, despair and fear?
How to Be Happy
I started going through studies and articles written on happiness and what makes people happy. I found that the results were a combination of things, and most articles mentioned gratefulness, optimism, purpose, love, and doing good. All of these help us to reach a general state of happiness or contentment.
Interestingly, all of these are virtues taught to us in the Qur’an and by the Prophet ﷺ:

1. Gratefulness: We are told in the Qur’an: “And if you should count the favors of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful” (Qu’ran, 18:18)[Unknown A1] . Taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture, we can realize that all of the blessings that we have can have a profound effect on our well-being. Instead of focusing on what we do not have, or the negative things that happened to us in a day, we should focus on what we have been given.
2. Optimism: Every notice how some people just have good energy? They tend to be optimistic people that can see the good in situations where others only see negatives. Allah (swt) teaches us how to have this outlook, when He tells us “I am at my servant’s opinion of Me,” (Bukhari). If you think well of Allah, that is what you will find. So Allah is telling us that it is up to us. If we want to imagine a grumpy god that wants wickedness for the world, well, it is our own fault that that is what we see. But Allah (swt) encourages us to think well of Him—He is teaching us the Islamic outlook on life. He teaches us to be optimistic even in times of distress, when He says, “So verily, with the hardship, there is relief. Verily, with the hardship, there is relief,” (Qur’an, 94:5-6). Every hardship comes with at least two reliefs, so focus on the good that Allah (swt) gave you to help overcome the bad. Moreover, we are also reminded “But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not,” (Qur’an, 2:216). Being optimistic means not seeing simply the hardship, but what could be behind the hardship in terms of lessons, and seeing that it could be a good thing.
3. Purpose: What is Islam about if not about defining our purpose? A recent UCLA study showed that the happiness that comes from having a deep sense of meaning and purpose in life can contribute to favorable gene-expression profiles. When you know what you are pursuing, it makes everything worth it. So think: who do you want to be? We all know we were sent worship God, but we also know that besides the basics that we are all required to do (such as prayers, fasting, alms-giving etc), we each are unique in the way that we seek closeness to Him. It could be through starting up an ethical business, dedicating our lives to be an amazing teacher, striving to be a wonderful parent, devoting our time to issues of social justice—anything.

• The best thing is, when you intend something, you will have it if you sincerely work for it even if you never get there. The Prophet ﷺ tells us about two people, one whom God has bestowed with wealth and knowledge, so he is able to spend that wealth in beneficial ways; and another who only has knowledge, but wishes that he had wealth in order to be able to do more. The Prophet ﷺ said that these people are rewarded exactly the same because we are rewarded in accordance to our intention. Allah (swt) is teaching us to dream big and to work hard, but to have a heart that is at rest because we know the result is with Him.

4. Love: We all have people that love us. And it is important to foster good relationships with our family and friends. We are reminded again and again to have a good relationship with our neighbors, our close friends and our family. It is not only a duty, but also something that enriches our life. And even if we think we do not have anyone that loves us, then we should remember that Allah (swt) loves us. And we should not for a moment let shaytan (the Devil) tell us that this is not true. Why would Allah (swt) allow you to read these words of encouragement if He did not want what is best for you? And why would He want what is best for you if He does not love you?

Sadness is Normal Sometimes
This all might seem too easy. What about when things make us sad? Didn’t Allah (swt) say that He would test those He loves the most? So how can reconcile these things?
First, it is natural to have our down moments. The Prophet ﷺ  was sad when he lost his son Ibrahim. He suffered many hardships as well. When Aisha (ra) asked him whether the Battle of Uhud was the most difficult thing he went through, he said that it was the abuse he was subjected to at Ta’if that was the worst. But notice that he would point out incidents or events that were hard, as opposed to saying, “My entire life is hard” or “This was something I never got over.”
Second, there is a difference between being tested externally and being defeated internally. Yes, Allah (swt) tests those He loves. But He only tests us with what we can bear. This means that the stronger we are internally, the more hardship we are able to bear. Allah (swt) does not aim to destroy you but to build you. If you are at peace, while you will be shaken by hardships, you will not be broken, like the prophets and the righteous. Your worldview will enable you to see the hardship for what it is: temporary.
So when things go wrong, let yourself be sad as opposed to bottling things up. The Prophet ﷺ wept for his son. Things bothered him sometimes. But that was not his general state. He did not dwell on his hardships. Rather, his healthy internal state allowed him return to his default, which was a state of gratefulness and optimism.
If you ever feel down or distressed, remember this du`a’ (supplication):

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ الْهَمِّ وَالْحُزْنِ وَالْعَجْزِ وَالْكَسَلِ وَالْبُخْلِ وَالْجُبْنِ وَضَلَعِ الدَّيْنِ وَغَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ

Allahumma inni a’udhu bika minal-hammi wal-Ḥuzni wal-’ajazi wal-kasli wal-bukhli wal-jubni wa ḍala’Īd-dayni wa ghalabatir-rijal.

O Allāh, I take refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts and from being overpowered by men.

[Bukhari]

Practical Tips
When we talk about happiness, it is easy to talk about the intangibles, but what are concrete ways to get there? I have compiled a list that I hope will help, Insha’Allah:

1. Realize that happiness is truly from within. Let go of holding onto to stress and fear, and realize that Allah (swt) gave you the power to affect your internal state. Allah says He is what we think of Him, so we need to live in accordance with that opinion and internalize that good opinion of Him.
2. Build hope and faith in Allah, and develop your relationship with Him: this is your asset and will get you through things. Study His Names, focus on connecting to Him through your prayers, reflect over the Qur’an and have secret good deeds that no one knows about but Him.
3. Develop yourself: No two days in the day of a Muslim should be the same. Learn new things. Read. Cultivate the “sound heart”. Work on your interpersonal skills. The Prophet ﷺ said that wisdom is the lost property of the believer, so we should be seeking wisdom in all its forms.
4. Smile: It’s a sunnah (tradition of the Prophet ﷺ) as we know, and psychological studies have shown that smiling can increase your happiness levels and lift your spirits. Fun study: Wayne State University scientists in Detroit concluded that those athletes who smiled more in their pictures lived on average seven years longer than those who did not.
5. Do good: There are countless ahadeeth (sayings of the Prophet) that encourage us to do good for others, without expecting anything for ourselves. The Prophet ﷺ  gave his time in addition to his wealth to people who needed it. Allah (swt) says in the Qu’ran, “Indeed, those who have believed and done righteous deeds – the Most Merciful will appoint for them affection” (Qu’ran, 19:96). Meaning Allah (swt) will show His love for you! Moreover, one of Allah’s Names is ash-Shakoor; He appreciates and gives back even more than you put in when you do good!

• A paper by Dr. Suzanne Richards and colleagues at the University of Exeter Medical School, Exeter, UK, found that “volunteering is associated with lower depression, increased well-being, and a 22 percent reduction in the risk of dying.” Karen Reivich, Ph.D., a research associate in the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania found that happiness is “also feeling a connection to something larger than yourself. When people are in service to something bigger, they describe their lives as filled with meaning. It’s not the smiley face, but when it’s all over, you realize you’d do it again.”

6. Express gratitude: It is one thing to be grateful, and another thing to express it. Allah (swt) tells us “If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor],” (Qur’an, 14:7). You will be given more—materially—but also spiritually. There will be barakah, which means increase. For example, you have an hour to do things but find that you can do so much. You have little money but it is always enough for you. And gratitude is not just in expressing it to God. Remember that the Prophet ﷺ said, “whoever has not thanked people has not thanked God” (Abu Dawud). It applies with both the big things (showing your parents how much appreciate them) and with the small (simply saying thank you when the barista gives you your coffee). This short clip shows an experiment conducted on the link between expressing gratitude and people’s happiness, and is well worth the watch.
7. Good friends: The Prophet ﷺ taught us that “A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace,” (Bukhari). We know that we can be influenced by the people around us to varying degrees. Researchers show that people who surround themselves with other happy people are more likely to be happy. Happiness is contagious, and so are good habits. Be with people who can remind you, who can encourage you and who care for their own state that they influence you in a good way without even speaking.
8. Develop a relationship with your family: I put this as a separate point to the above because I feel that it requires extra focus. The Prophet ﷺ tells us, “The best of you are those who are best to their families,” (Tirmidhi). What we go home to also influences us. Many of us live with our parents, and we have heard countless talks about the obedience to parents. But our relationship with our parents is so much more than obedience, and characterizing the relationship in that way makes it rigid and dry. In the Qur’an we are told to “accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]” (31:15). The word is used is saahibhuma, which is from the root that gives us the word saahib: companion. Some of us may have difficult relationships with our parents, and so this part is extra hard if we feel disconnected from them. But remember, we are rewarded for our efforts. Find something in common between you. Maybe your mother enjoys reading and your father loves a certain sport. You can try to find those little things that will transform your relationship.
9. Take a break: Do you like knitting? Maybe take time out and watch a documentary. Play martial arts. Do some yoga. Go out for coffee. Chill in the park. This is not haraam and is not considered a waste of time if we are being balanced (and as long as the thing itself is not haraam). Handhala (ra), one of the companions of the Prophet ﷺ, went running to the Prophet ﷺ  because he feared he was a hypocrite for being more spiritual when he was with him rather than when he was in his family. But the Prophet ﷺ told him, “There is time for this and a time for that,” (Muslim).
10. Sleep well: Remember that your body has a right over you. When a man came to the Prophet ﷺ saying that he prayed all night long, the Prophet ﷺ  reminded him that his body and his family had rights over him. In the Qur’an, we are taught that Allah (swt) “…made your sleep [a means for] rest, And made the night as clothing, And made the day for livelihood” (78:9-11).

• This really does not need a study, but studies have shown that bad sleep is detrimental to your mood, and of course, makes it hard to wake up in the morning. A University of Michigan study showed that just getting an extra hour of sleep at night has more of an effect on daily happiness than making $60,000 more in annual income!

11. Eat well: Allah (swt) says: “O children of Adam, take your adornment at every masjid, and eat and drink, but be not excessive. Indeed, He likes not those who commit excess” (Qur’an, 7:31). While studies are not conclusive, there are links between what we eat and how it affects our mood in the long-term. It is most likely linked to overall health, but see this article and this one for “happy” foods.
12. Be fit: The Prophet ﷺ was fit and barely had a belly into his 60s. The sahaba, the Companions (ra) played sports. Allah (swt) created us in a certain way: you use your body well, and it will help you when you are old. A Duke University study suggested that moderate aerobic exercise has a longer and more lasting effect on mood than medication alone for people with depression. A Canadian study found that being physically active was associated with 85 percent higher odds of being happy and people who changed from being inactive to active were more likely to report feeling happy two and four years later.
13. Have discipline: Jaber bin Abdullah (ra), one of the companions, was carrying a piece of meat. “Umar saw him and said, ‘What is this Jaber?’ To which Jaber replied ‘I desired some meat so I bought it.’ Umar looked at him and said ‘And do you buy whatever you desire?’”

• This last one might seem counter-intuitive. Getting whatever we desire should make us happy, right? Not according to a research study published in the Journal of Personality, which found that exerting self-control can make you happier both in the long-term and in the moment. Disciplined people are able to avoid situations of temptation, and therefore avoid situations in which their goals or morals would conflict. It is not simply about being in a situation and preventing yourself from acting on your lust, but it is, as Islam teaches, avoiding situations where there is a higher risk of desires taking control over you. The research concluded that these people are good managers, and experienced fewer negative emotions as a result. Moreover, being disciplined with our goals or even a little to-do list helps instill a sense of achievement, which in turn makes us more productive and happy.

Working Within My Circle of Influence...By Khadija Amaan

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By Khadija Amaan

I would often find myself worrying about things and draining my energy. Yes, it would lead me to prayers, but also depression. When prayer leads you to depression, it means that you are doing something wrong. Prayer is hope. Prayer is faith. Prayer is uplifting. Prayer is not constant worry.
I learned this after moving to this new city. The first couple of weeks were great, but right after that, my husband would come home upset. We had relocated, thinking that he had found the perfect job. However, in a couple of weeks, we were devastated. He began hating his job. He complained about his boss. He did not like the work. But here we were, and still are, bound by a long-term contract with the company.
He would text me from work to tell me how much he despised his job. He would come home stressed. Our happiness, our dreams, our tranquility in life had disappeared. Being the only person he could open up to, I felt helpless. I would cry for hours on my prayer mat. I did not know how I could help him. The kids were sensing our worries. It was difficult.
I prayed constantly for ease. I prayed and prayed. That is all I did. I would ignore my kids, I would ignore my house, I would ignore my chores, and prayed. This led me to constantly be thinking about the problem:
Prayer was leading me to worry.
One night, it occurred to me, prayer should not lead me to worry. Prayer means putting your trust in God, subhanahu wa ta’ala (exalted is He). Prayer means asking for goodness. Maybe there is goodness in this difficulty that we cannot see. I have to stop worrying about that over which I have no control. I should work on that over which I have control.
So, I changed my approach to prayers. I offered my five prayers, and even some optional ones, but instead of worrying constantly, I began thanking God (swt) for His blessings. I would pray for ease, but with the knowledge that there must be ease in this struggle. God (swt) is great. His wisdom, His sight, His reasons are beyond the human capability to grasp.
With my thankful attitude, I began to cheer the house up. I focused my energy on my kids. I started to learn how to make applications for Android. I started to cook regularly. I would feed my kids before my husband would come home tired, so he could have a quiet dinner to recollect his thoughts. I began to pour my heart out to God (swt) early in the morning, before the sunrise. I found my peace. Thanks to the Almighty (swt).
Peace comes from inside, not outside. Peace comes from working within your circle of influence. My husband is still unhappy at work. He still comes home upset. But I have found the way to charge my energy and be his support. I am embracing the experience, for God (swt) must have a reason that is beyond my wisdom.

اللهُمَّ لا سَهْلَ إلا مَا جَعَلتَهُ سَهْلا وَ أنتَ تَجْعَلُ الحزْنَ إذا شِئْتَ سَهْلا

Allahumma la sahla illa ma ja`altahu sahla wa anta taj`al ul-hazna idha shi’ta sahla.

“O Allah! There is nothing easy except that which You make easy; and You make the difficult, if You wish, easy.”¹

May God (swt) continue to strengthen our souls and ease our difficulties.  Ameen!

How to Overcome Sadness and Be Happy...By Taheerah Alam

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By Taheerah Alam

So should I be thankful for the good clothes I wear or the Gucci bag I carry? Maybe the good food I can eat? Oh wait, what about the opportunity to study at a reputable university or being employed at a good company? Hey, did I mention my caring and wonderful parents or my cool siblings who are my best friends? Hold on, I completely forgot about the blessing of Islam in my life; How Allah guided my heart to His path! AlhamdulilLah (praise be to God).
Tired of counting already?!
No wonder Allah said in the Qur’an that if we were to count the favors of Allah, we will not do justice to even one favor! (14:34)
Yes, we are all struggling with something and I feel ya, my brother/sister in Islam. Maybe it’s been months and you are still looking for a decent job. Maybe you are a single brother/sister struggling to fight off temptations while there seems to be no progress in the ‘marriage’ part of your life and you are tired of searching for that ‘right’ person. Maybe you have been trying for years and still with no success in conceiving a baby. It could be anything. Anything that makes you feel that sense of unhappiness and dissatisfaction. A gap between what you desire to happen and what is happening in reality. And I feel your pain and I will never underestimate it.
But brothers and sisters, I request you all to take concrete steps to change your situation. Do something about it right now! You know how?
“…If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]…” (Qur’an, 14:7)
Here’s how:

• Shift your focus.
• Pay attention to the wonderful things you have, as opposed to what you don’t have.

Believe me, you will get lost in the counting of those blessings even if you’re a math expert!
And then, when you genuinely appreciate the blessings you enjoy and, in turn, appreciate how Merciful He, your Lord, has always been to you, He will do as promised inshaAllah (God willing); He will increase you in various ways in life. Trust me, with a positive and grateful mindset, you will feel His barakah (blessing) in your life constantly and that will make you a much happier human being. You will enjoy the days and nights of this fleeting life that doesn’t want to slow down! You will kick away depression from your life and make way for activism and energy!
And most importantly, you will be able to remember your Lord consistently and His consciousness will become ingrained in your lifestyle inshaAllah. What a wonderful way to worship the One to whom we owe everything!
But then you might be thinking “how” exactly do I show this gratitude? Is it just repeating “thank you God” every time I buy a Louis Vuitton bag?
That too and maybe something more. The best way to be grateful for Allah’s favors is to use them for things that make Him happy.
So you’re good in accounting? Help someone to do their homework. You love writing? Use your beautiful words to inspire people to Allah’s deen (religion). Maybe Allah blessed you with wealth so you can buy all the good stuff alhamdulilLah. Why not buy something nice and gift it to a poor person once in a while? And you can be as creative as you want! The list is endless. But you get the point inshaAllah.
Come on fellas. It’s time to be positive. It’s time to be grateful. It’s time to act.
And always remember this motto no matter what you go through in life:
“An attitude of gratitude is what is truly needed!” – Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan
Stay blessed.

With Hardship Comes Ease: Embracing Discomfort... By Ismail Shaikh

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By Ismail Shaikh

I cried after my first interview. It was June of 2011 and I had finally landed an interview after frantically sending out applications to prospective employers. Job-hunting had been a stressful experience as I began to feel increasingly desperate under both family and financial pressure. So when I received a call to interview on short-term notice, I happily obliged.
Without much time to prepare, I went into the interview feeling very anxious. It was a panel interview and for the first time I experienced what it was like to be “grilled” by management. The short of the long of it – it was a poor interview and the program manager scoffed at my level of preparation. I exited that interview feeling relieved it was over but terribly sad, embarrassed, and fruitlessly hopeless. Still, I adhered to interview protocol and sent a thank-you email to management, sincerely explaining to them what had happened.
Allah, the Most Exalted, is the Best of Planners.
The next week I received a call from human resources for a round two interview. Not wanting to repeat myself, I prepared well and felt relatively calm and confident. A week later, I got the job alhamdulillah (praise be to God).
Since then I have had many interviews in my attempt to climb up the career ladder. With each interview, I can sense myself feeling increasingly confident. This is vastly different than how I started out.
What have I learned from this experience? That there is growth in discomfort, uncertainty and unpredictability.
Of course there is a level of comfort in knowing; to be able to predict with certainty how life events will exactly pan out. But then life would lose purpose with no opportunities for personal, professional, and spiritual growth. I have realized that it is difficult to grow when we are in our comfort zone. Many of us prefer to stay here because we don’t want to experience the stress and anxiety of discomfort. But by doing so, we limit our potential for growth.
For many of us, the anxiety and stress is understandably unbearable. Sadly, too many of us have often been scarred in childhood—emotionally beaten down rather than being built up. Experiences in adulthood are a microcosm of this earlier life where we never truly learnt how to carry discomfort, to manage our anxiety and learn to soothe ourselves while moving through life. Consequently, we find safety in avoidance.
It is easy to forget that once upon a time, in our attempts to walk and run as toddlers, we had to embrace falling and bruising ourselves. Instead, the relationship many of us have with our discomforts, as a result of trials and tribulations, uncertainty and unpredictability, is negative. Rather than viewing them as windows for opportunity, we fall into hopelessness and despair.
However, the idea of growth through discomfort is not novel. Fourteen hundred years ago, the concept was revealed in the Qur’an, where Allah, the Most Exalted, says, “With difficulty comes ease,” (Qur’an 94:6). Hence, facing discomfort in this life is inevitable; what is important is how we view this discomfort and respond to it. If a moment of discomfort for a believer brings them closer to Allah, is that not a sign of growth? It is essential to also mention here that Allah will never burden you with more than you can handle, as taught to us in the Qur’an when Allah says, “Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…” (Qur’an 2:286).
The reality is that we need to embrace our healthy share of uncomfortable experiences in this life. A simple but effective way of doing this is finding one thing in life that makes us a little anxious and embracing it. For instance, maybe someone is socially anxious and has difficulty having conversations with people. If this is something they want to change, a starting point could be greeting at least one person at the local mosque or in the neighborhood. This is not done with the hope of having a positive outcome (as this may not happen). Rather, the idea is to embrace the discomfort that comes with stepping out of the comfort zone for a moment. With time, the discomfort faced will, God willing, pave the way for learning, reflection, and growth.

Move to the next chapter

Be with ALLAH and ALLAH will be with you

Quote from Arthur Forman